STRESSED!

AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!! wish i could go all the way to beach and SCREAM out everything within me..i'm so so so STRESSED!! holy moses..but i have no idea what i'm stressing for..quite several reasons combine and give birth to this holy fucking stress..seriously..i'm really torn apart..fucked up..not that bad..just feeling horrible..well i guess here are some reasons i could come up with..

-spent the whole weekend slacking instead of doing something meaningful (assignment..)
-fucking unreasonably long hair..(not exactly that long but it's annoying me! constantly!)
-will i stay or will i go stuff..my mom just found out that IMU is really a high standard institute(in fact it is..) and seems like 80% of the chance i'm going there next year, which is so to my dismay..
-McD part time job thing..the one i intended to apply for is currently not hiring any staff..damn it..
-some other trivial matters which contribute to this whole STRESS thing..which is fucking annoying!!

i'm supposed to get in bed soon..but what the MARTA FOCKER i couldn't close my eyes..once i do terrible matters keep pestering me..those stressful fucking idiots..damn it..i'm so not good when it comes to stress management..never got into such fucked up emotion before..darn it..

one more thing..i'm feeling terribly empty right now..like i've done nothing and have nothing to do..totally helpless feeling which i hate the most! what the fak..something please! fill me up! whatever it is just please..make me feel better..

gees..hopefully i'll get better tmr..and hopefully everything goes well..hopefully..

Will I stay or will I go?

I don't know..I don't know how long i can take this..it's gonna burst out of nowhere..but I don't want to..I really don't want to...
_____________________________________________________________________

Well here's another thing, not the crazy grumble above, totally not related, so please, don't senka senka imagine everything thanks =p It's about my future, again. Was chatting with my mum through MSN few days ago, as I expected, the "will i stay or will i go" thing was brought up, which I try so hard to stave off. yea, i'm too a coward to face reality. She then mentioned something about IMU, which is a great medical school in Malaysia. She found out (actually my aunt who pays all my fees did) that IMU actually offers Biomedical Science degree (yup the thing i'm doing) but it's a brand new course, will be commencing next year or something. Gees! of course i don't want to study in KL (no offense to people studying in KL), nothing much, just that i simply don't like KL, that's it.

Well we had a pretty serious talk (which is so not my style lol) about my future. I told her the thing that I might want to pursue my master degree after i graduate this Biomed thing, get a PR and get a job something, and then we carried on with another half an hour crap of, again, stuff about my future, kept telling me to be serious and be independent, who doesn't know! i mean, it's not easy to just step up like that, and the thing is, it feels kinda weird that i'm becoming an adult, dealing with my own stuff, starting to worry about life, so and so..sooner or later i'm gonna deal with all these cruel inhumane unethical life-sucking-problems, i know..yea, i know..and i will.. anyway, we then chatted about the utterly sucky economy nowadays and inevitably MONEY was dragged into our conversation. yea economy is deteriorating like it never had before, which sucks.

I got this surge of courage at that particular moment and i told my mum that "I don't want to go to KL" and there it was, she told me that she doesn't want me to go also, considering career opportunities and other fucking matters. Well honestly i was god-damningly glad at the moment hearing this sort of thing, but life doesn't always go the way you want it to, she then mentioned the fact that economy sucks and it's not easy for her to ask any more money from my aunt (though i'll pay her back when i work but...). My mum then "cited" the best quote of all time, "do the best, expect the worst" and if it really doesn't work, i'll really have to go to IMU or other institutions next year. In the end, we had an agreement, she gave me 2 weeks time to gather all the information i could about the PR thing and details about the course and my plan, to "support" the point that i'm staying so to facilitate my PR application in the future when she "debates" with my aunt. Lol! that sounds serious but it's not lol..my mum said she'll talk to my aunt that i'm staying for XXX reason and is for the best blah blah. So, yea..the biggest homework ever..

It's been few days and i've been doing research, little research. Nothing much, browsing through IMU website, squandering time, typical me lol, will continue this research thing, it's tough but i'ma pull this through! I seriously am. All the best to myself! I really really really hope that i cn stay, i know it's really expensive studying here but i'm gonna work harder in the future to pay back whatever debts (if there is any). I wanna stay..

Tagged by Chrisdut, the Chris of Dut

Instructions: Remove 1 question from below, and add in your personal question, make it a total of 20 questions, then tag 8 people in your list, list them out at the end of this post. Notify them in their chat box that he/she has been tagged.

1. At what age do you wish to marry?
25 sounds perfect for me, but i think i'll marry someone only when i have it all planned and am able to stand on my own i.e. have my own career..

2. What is your most favorite thing to do?
for the moment, watching tv series and movies i guess..

3. If you have a close close close friend since childhood who loves to take away whatever you like, including guys/girls, and he/she always wins, will you still consider him/her your friend?
probly i'm used to it already at that moment..haha..

4. What would you give up in return to eat all you want in the world and not get fat?
i don't want to give up anything..but i'd still like to eat all i want in the world! maybe..$10? lol..

5. If you can have 1 dream to come true, what would it be?
that would be..my dad alive..i guess..

6. Do you believe you can survive without money?
No! there's no way i can live without money..not in a world like this where everything is about MONEY.

7. What are you afraid to lose the most?
my family and friends..typical..

8. What do you feel like doing, right now?
win a lottery of $15 million..so that i could go for med and give my family a better life..

9. If there's someone that you love, would you confess to him/her?
it depends..depends on who that person is..if i'm really really really into her..i will..

10. List out 3 good points of the person who tagged you.
ChrisHong? wuakakakakaa..
-he's a friend..a true friend..a truly true friend..
-he's hilarious and childish..at the same time..
-he's my partner! we set up quite a lot of business together..IGA..Pimple restaurant..

11. What are the requirements that you wish from your other half?
she has to have her own personality..funny..she can't be too hideous to be brought home..a little pretty perhaps..not too skinny..caucasian preferred but who knows..and the most important thing..comfortable to be with..

12. What is the thing that will make you think he/she is bad?
poser! faker! hypocrite!

13. What is your ambition?
be a well-known surgeon..with a considerable amount of income..

14. Is anyone really perfect?
No one, no one, no ooonnnee..(alicia keys "no one")

15. If you had a choice to be rich or happy, which one would you pick ?
wealth? happiness? can i have both? hmm..i'll probly go for happiness..there's no point for u to be so rich but miserable..

16. If you have a chance, which part of your character you would like to change?
my masculinity! i'm too soft for a man..how can i take good care of my family in the future? so..be a man! and i'd love to have a hot body..like those male celebs..lol..

17. Who is the person that you can share all your problems with?
some of my close friends..you know i'm referring to u..=p

18. How do you see yourself in 10 years time?
a world renowned surgeon married with the ms.right and have 2 kids..oh yea not to mention also..the hottest surgeon..XD

19. If someone had found a path to immortality to be bestowed upon you in exchange for one of your abilities, would you take it, and what would you sacrifice for it?
oh please..who wants to live forever and ever seeing your close ones dying..i'd rather to have 80 years of great life than to be a lonely immortal..

20. If you could return to the past, what would you do?
i would have spent more time with my dad and my grandpa..


I'll tag..anyone who wants to be tagged..go on and do the tag if your interested..

God loves everyone..

yes! God loves everyone of us..but i'm not gonna start a whole bunch of topic out of it..then..why the title? well you'll see..

for my first time i went to the youth gathering of my church this morning..with grace wong..we were rushing like hell cos we thought we were gonna be late..they said it started at 11am btw and by the time we reached there it was like 11.15am..but guess what..people were still waiting for the arrival of the president..lol..well it wasn't a big group for youth..there were like..10 of us? anyway..cos i had been to my ex-church's youth activity..and it didn't go well so i've had this not-so-good impression for youth since then..and why did i finally go this time? the president asked me to..since he's been asking me for like quite few times so i decided to go..give it a try at least.. anyway we then started the sing-along thing and doing prayers and stuff..we then watched a movie called "源来是爱", a hk production movie about how Jesus changes one's family's lives..sth like that..we didn't finish it though..gonna finish part two in two more weeks' time..and we did some sharing and we left..cos the church was decorated with wedding embellishments and yes! some couple were gonna get married soon..blessing! oh..the youth..after everything ended i felt pretty comfy with the process actually..i kinda liked it! it's a small group but it gave me the feeling of a whole little family..i was warmed..we then headed to Viet Hoa for lunch..nice~it was vietnamese food btw..so..nice~~

we went to Karaoke afterwards..at 2pm sth..grace n i..we first went to the Utopia in northbridge without expecting any fully-booked situation..and yes..not a room available for 5 of us.. 2 of her friends and 1 of my friend..5 of us! damn it..grace n i then went to meet other 3 up..(before that her friends were like on and off about the karaoke stuff..they said they're going but the next sec they turned us down..what the hell..and the next sec they got back on track and sticked to the plan..again..lol..) and finally it was around 4pm we got to meet everyone else..what a relief hoho..but bad thing started happening..we took a bus to the place..sort of like the area of the other Utopia..but none of us recognized the place..and we ended up totally lost and walking all the way down the street asking people..and it was 15 mins later and..we saw the sign Utopia! thank god! pretty exhausted walking there but once we got into that room..we were high like hell! gosh..well i was the most excited guy for sure..anyway..we totally had fun..and we paid $7 for each! for 2 hours..nice~

it was 6.40pm sth and grace n i were supposed to go back to her home and she drove to UWA for a musical - "Imagine Christmas"..organized by New Life City Church which started at 7.30pm..but it was too late to do so..so we took the train instead and we waited for the bus for like probly half an hour? yea..we were late..luckily the pastor was talking about sth before the musical got started so..we were still on time for the musical! woohoo! lights off..a little girl came out and said sth like, "i wonder how does christmas look like?" and there began a series of performances..mainly riveted on the birth of Jesus..the funny part was the 2 angels..they totaly sounded like characters in How I Met Your Mother..a TV series..which was hilarious! the way they acted..the way they talked..other than the 2 funny angels..there were people dancing..singing..kids singing in choir..which was cute..and the scene when people from all over the world(i suppose..) came and witness the birth of Jesus..the savior of people..and that part..that part was amazing! i got goosebumps at the moment..how powerful Jesus can be to attract people all over the world to come and adore him..totally amazing..wonderful.. the song "O come let us adore Him.." was playing at the moment..we sang along..the pastor..Pastor Eu..ended the whole show with a splendid speech..he said how he transformed himself from hating Christians and churches to one to be saved..it kinda touched my heart everytime i listen to him preaching..telling story..i can feel God's love amongst us when we were praying..that was glorious..imagine christmas..i'm impressed..when we started to leave and were planning to take a bus and so..worrying about the darkness..we ran into my housemate! thank god! cos when grace n i were on our way to UWA..before the show started..we were hoping that we would stumbled upon someone who can give us a ride home..and there he was! amazing ay.. and of course..he sent grace back and we went back home..we got slightly lost finding our way home after sending grace wong back..it was fine though..we managed to get out of that place in just few mins later..nice~

a little video of a guy singing..i didn't record the two girls duet and the angels crapping though..my phone was out of battery! so it took time to change and i only managed to record this one..i wanted to concentrate some more so..the show was great anyway hoho..


well that's pretty much of what i've been through today..what a wonderful day..busy yet still wonderful..amazing..though i still haven't really had my dinner yet but i'm gonna have some soon..guess what? i'll have Dorito's chips i bought as my dinner..well..call it supper if u like..anyway..yea..what a day! nice~

Crush on iTunes!

Yay! iTunes! it's my first time downloading song through iTunes! my first LEGAL download..lol..of course, the song i downloaded was...wait for it..ttaaddaahhhh! it's David Archuleta's brand new single "Crush"!! woohoo~ i'm so excited right now..i'm thrilled!! first time doing something in a legal way..there's really difference between illegal downloads and legal downloads like iTunes..the quality is sooo much better and it makes the song sound nicer! okay....maybe not..they're pretty much the same..but seriously, downloading a song from iTunes man! feeling GREAT~ like i just did something glorious..or something like i won 10 gold medals for malaysia in olympic..or like receiving a $10,000,000 angpau..or like flirting with hot chicks....it just felt like anything GOOD that u can name out..*fly me to the moon, let me lie on the cloud 9~*

how much did i pay for it? well..sorry to tell but..it was free!! FREE!! FOC!! lol..can it be any better? huh? can it?? my my..i'm too excited to spill a word..hahahaha anyway i actually got this iTunes redemption card during UWA Expo..it was sort of like UWA open day..we visited the chemistry stall and that girl gave me this card..with 3 free songs available..not 1..not 2..THREE!! XD luckily joyce and elaine don't really use iTunes so..spontaneously..that card belonged to me! it was a month ago i guess and i've been waiting for this "Crush" to come out..i once searched for "Crush" on iTunes when i heard it's out in US..but returned with no result..gees..aussie iTunes..mao bian..so i just kept waiting and waiting..and it's worth the wait! i finally came across this song when i searched for it just now..AAAHHHH!! i'm so damn happy right now..couldn't be happier..i just took ecstasy some more so.......lalalalalaa~

David Archuleta's "Crush"! the one i posted here in my blog isn't the one i downloaded..i couldn't upload it to imeem..protected konon..anyway it's the same like i said..but mine is LEGALLY downloaded! so proud of myself..*strut like a cocky little next door bastard* anyway enjoy the song..i'm still so turned on..can't get into my dreamy dreamland..lol..