whatever title it is..

vulnerability is what i'm feeding on atm.

lately, i feel SO depressed like all of a sudden.for some reason. sitting in my room. facebooking. doing nothing. PAMM. depressed..

wonder if i've contracted some sort of neurologic diseases.. schizophrenia perhaps. beware of ME.
probably that's why my hands have been shaking like popcorn machine for the past 19 years. i have yet-to-surface awesome disease. an awesome one.

rant rant rant..

what's the purpose of living anyway.. not that i'm having thoughts of committing suicide. just wondering. well of course other than to serve God.what else? i'm lost..

:)

cor blimey! english accent's hot ;) so bloody scorching HOT. random much huh. ...

friends come and go. they do. do they? well not for me but.it seems like that to me.. like one day all my friends are gonna leave me. i'ma die alone. on my tombstone " lonely old man with no friends who died in a car accident while roller-blading"

so many thoughts running through my head right now. random thoughts. not so random thoughts. some serious thoughts. i'm never a serious person am i.. how pathetic hah..

future. what about future? to be a doctor? a janitor? to get married? or not?
near future. what about it? still slacking like the filthy rich's kid?

i know i'm awesome..

maybe not so.........

it's just one of those moments where you feel like everyone in the world hates you. i still love myself though. no matter what :) *narcissism to its finest*

going to A.S.I.A Cocktail tonight. one of the most well-known annual fob events. it's gonna be packed to the rafters.seriously.2000+ ppl? drunk-dancing on the dancefloor? don't think so..

prolly it's just me. i want my friends to care about me like i care about them. even on some teeny trivial inconspicuous matters. i want them to SHOW me that they care. call me a sensitive emotional douchebag. whatever.

oh. i've been doing this one thing since i can remember. i'm a people-pleaser :) have i ever said no to any favor? people-pleaser i am. a pp who never expresses his stupid struggling self, who always presents himself as a happy-go-lucky TLN. feel sad? bury the sadness.keep it down as much as possible and put on a typical hypocritical grin. .... thought it was a good thing though hah..

emo much? :) feel so much better. just wanted to find some way to 'share' my feelings.at the same time thought i should really update this crappy blog a little. though no one's reading anyway hah..

that's all for now. don't forget, i'm awesome.