Be Still My Soul

i was folding clothes. as usual. like nonchalantly all care-free clothes-folding.

was playing this hymn called "Be Still My Soul" by Don Moen. this is one of the songs our church choir is gonna present tmr at one fund raising event for the church. thought it sounded nice so i dl'd it and put it on replay mode.

i was like all fine and whistling (not that i can whistle lol) and all of a sudden, the chorus struck my head "Be still my soul... God knows your way... and He will guide... for His name's sake"

my eyes turned teary. the switch was on. just like that. there i was, folding clothes, crying to the song, thinking "thank you God for touching my soul"

i felt it.

that very splashingly splendid moment, i felt it. God's always there for us.

Thank You God for letting me find my way to You. or.. bringing me to You. whichever it is, thank You God.

oh yea. i joined the church choir. since i figured i'm good at nothing but i like singing. might as well join the choir. and the turnout's unexpectedly amazing.

i'm truly blessed. i am. though there have been a little trouble going on with all the house-hunting, packing, and time-clashes for that matter.
but i believe it'll all turn out to be alright.
"Be still my soul, I will guide your way"

praise the Lord!

whatever title it is..

vulnerability is what i'm feeding on atm.

lately, i feel SO depressed like all of a sudden.for some reason. sitting in my room. facebooking. doing nothing. PAMM. depressed..

wonder if i've contracted some sort of neurologic diseases.. schizophrenia perhaps. beware of ME.
probably that's why my hands have been shaking like popcorn machine for the past 19 years. i have yet-to-surface awesome disease. an awesome one.

rant rant rant..

what's the purpose of living anyway.. not that i'm having thoughts of committing suicide. just wondering. well of course other than to serve God.what else? i'm lost..

:)

cor blimey! english accent's hot ;) so bloody scorching HOT. random much huh. ...

friends come and go. they do. do they? well not for me but.it seems like that to me.. like one day all my friends are gonna leave me. i'ma die alone. on my tombstone " lonely old man with no friends who died in a car accident while roller-blading"

so many thoughts running through my head right now. random thoughts. not so random thoughts. some serious thoughts. i'm never a serious person am i.. how pathetic hah..

future. what about future? to be a doctor? a janitor? to get married? or not?
near future. what about it? still slacking like the filthy rich's kid?

i know i'm awesome..

maybe not so.........

it's just one of those moments where you feel like everyone in the world hates you. i still love myself though. no matter what :) *narcissism to its finest*

going to A.S.I.A Cocktail tonight. one of the most well-known annual fob events. it's gonna be packed to the rafters.seriously.2000+ ppl? drunk-dancing on the dancefloor? don't think so..

prolly it's just me. i want my friends to care about me like i care about them. even on some teeny trivial inconspicuous matters. i want them to SHOW me that they care. call me a sensitive emotional douchebag. whatever.

oh. i've been doing this one thing since i can remember. i'm a people-pleaser :) have i ever said no to any favor? people-pleaser i am. a pp who never expresses his stupid struggling self, who always presents himself as a happy-go-lucky TLN. feel sad? bury the sadness.keep it down as much as possible and put on a typical hypocritical grin. .... thought it was a good thing though hah..

emo much? :) feel so much better. just wanted to find some way to 'share' my feelings.at the same time thought i should really update this crappy blog a little. though no one's reading anyway hah..

that's all for now. don't forget, i'm awesome.

crumbled

6 days down, only 4 more left.

It's been totally unfruitful since the day the break began.
wasn't expecting such futile holiday, thought i'd be at least a little more aggressive.

1 lab report,
2 upcoming tests,
10+ left-behind lectures to catch up,
the part-time job matter,
things that should've be done before this break...

anyway, just to update a little of my procrastination status.
was facebooking and stumbled upon this news piece one of my friends posted.
not a close friend, but the story, it feels like as if i'm in it..
(feel sorry for this friend)

我有一个很爱我很爱我的婆婆。她一手把我带大。我从小她就非常的疼我。
每天回到家，她都会煮好午餐等待我们，一直到中学一直都没有改变。她年龄已经接近90了，可是每天都还是煮饭给我们吃。而且我都知道其实她中午就饿了，可是她汪汪都会忍耐，因为她要等我们-她的孙子回家，和她一起吃饭。我们每天回到家都已经是接近三点了，可是她总是风雨不改的等待我们，为我们开门。我很生气自己为什么那么爱发她的脾气。她不小心睡着，忘了开门，我们往往就会摆出不开心的脸。她站也已经站不稳了，耳朵也听得不是很清楚，可是她总是帮忙我们打理家里的一切一切。因为她总说没事做她会很不自在。她每次跟我们说道理，我们总是左耳进右耳出，有时可能会觉得不耐烦，现在想起真的觉得自己很过分。最近她在家里跌倒，进了医院，我当时听到真的吓了一大跳。可是前几天，她的状况总算变好了，出院了。那时我也比较安心了。可是，我还没机会和她说说电话，因为她的听力变得跟弱了。我刚刚收到我姐的简讯得知她今天早上睡了之后都叫不醒，因为她中风了。我当时听到我真的吓到了。我真的不知道我该怎么办。我真的真的好想回去看她！我很想念她！为什么我现在不在她的身边。。我除了哭，我还能做什么？？？希望她会安全的度过这一切。婆婆，我爱你！


it left me speechless. emotional.
i too have a grandma, not as aged, but does exactly the same things as my friend's grandma does.
i too sometimes vent my resentment at her, for no reason.

it left me thinking,
what if that's my grandma? what if she falls down from the stairs?
what if.. loads of what ifs started popping up.
i should feel lucky to have my grandma still alive and still staying healthy.
i mean, what was i thinking when i yelled at her or said something disrespectful to her.

i once told her that the shirt she bought for me was so hideous that there was no way in hell i was gonna wear it on the first day of cny. i was annoyed, those words just came up of nowhere, not being filtered, all spilt. that hurt. i was shocked that i'd say that, i felt terrible. i was hurt, she was, too, hurt, even worse. despite, she replied with composure, went to shower. i immediately felt like a jerk, an ass, a bitch, satan. figured i was way wrong, picked up my huge smile waiting until she came downstairs. things went fine when i talked and laughed like shit to her afterwards.

I did wear that shirt on cny.

I ♥ my grandma

I know what you did last summer...

Just few months ago when summer holiday began, 4 of us went on a road trip, we drove all night, boozing and dancing in the car, blasting rockin' music ..Shut Up and Drive Drive Drive.. and we all felt like we were enjoying the time of our lives. Just then an asshole fisherman crossed the road and got hit by our car!

"oh my effing god what should we do?!"
"stay calm....stay calm....sta...we just killed a man!"
"dude it was a manslaughter just do the hit-and-run thing already! you don't wanna get caught do ya?!"
"WTF?!"...
and we live happily ever after.

enough with the pain in the ass story telling time lol.. holiday! that's the one thing that every single student looks forward to all the time, and i'm a huge fan of it! i love having nothing to do, i love being a mould-growing person, i love watching series 24/7, i love it when i'm in holiday! just love it.. and one thing about being one of the zhongers, GAMBLING is all that matters! lol just kidding gathering is what i meant, seriously don't judge me on that.. *gambling rules!*

yup gambling! i wasn't such a part of it until the first ever gambling i had since i got back from perth, the unforgettable christmas' eve at my house! we had Rami, 9 pts, black jack.. since then i started to get addicted to being a money-risker.. New year's eve, weekdays, weekends, pre-CNY, CNY, post-CNY.. ........ wow........ didn't realize i gambled so much. lol. until the day before, or few days ago, Jasmine, ah liau, kanasai, myself and kar ling were playing Rami at kar ling's house.. started 2pm sth, ramiing all the way until 6.30pm.. we could have left earlier but you know what GAMBLER stands for.. Guys Aiming Making Billion ₤ Ended-up Rotten.. lol that was a bad one.. we kept playing and couldn't seem to get ourselves out of it.. we only stopped when my sister, ah liau's mom, and someone else i forgot who called and....we stopped, with one last round before we left..lol.. it was 6.30pm, my sis got her tuition at 7.20pm, 50 mins interval with 3 places to go, first off Lintas, sending kanasai home, next station Inanam, ah liau's turn, last stop Kingfisher, sending queen Jasmine home, guess what with my super-skilled don't-get-in-my-way-or-you-will-die driving, i managed to reach home at 7.20pm..where i was supposed to be 10mins earlier lol. what to do we're gamblers! lol i then hastily send my sis to her tuition in less than 10mins' time, the fastest ever lol. well i guess my fellow passengers that day felt all the same that night "Thank God i'm alive!" lol seriously recall of how i drove that day, heady, heedless, foolhardy, inhumane, insensate, cold-blooded, every possible word that you could use to describe a reckless driver, that was how i drove that day..they nearly passed out on their ways back home. Thank God I'm Alive! lol

that's the point, when i headed home after sending my sis to her tuition, i kept thinking to myself, how could i be so gamblish that i nearly didn't make it for things that are more crucial, than gambling at the least.. i felt so remorsed on my way back, alone, thinking of the gamblishness that almost got myself killed (my sis lol), feeling so compunctioned that I ALMOST WET.. lol.. i still felt i wasn't doing things right that night and it got me tossing about in bed, i could barely fall asleep that night, well i did at last and it was something like 3.30am..woke up the next morning with a big-disney-princess-morning-yawn, with big breath for sure (lol thats not true at all)..guess what.. i was like what's going on yeserday.. and i carry on gambling and live happily ever after.. -.-凸

well that pretty much is what did the whole "summer", oh how can we not mention anything about the zhonger-hangouts. we had quite a few times of gathering but none of them was 100% attendance.. diff areas what can do unless there's this Zhong university with the 56 of us and will be closed down and demolished after our graduation right away. ha. ha. ha.. it was great seeing the zhongers after almost a year.. sitting around talking about basically everything, studies, environment, SEX life lol it's not like anyone of us has one but we just talked about it, enjoying talking about it so much some more *evil grin* we once sat down and the longest ever conversation took off, that longest ever lasted nearly 5 hours..from 8pm to 1am.. oh btw it was at Jasper's house where the others were G-ing, the ones that took part were the three-eighty zhongers : yogurt, wc, lolo, ah liau, waen yien. "The Unbeatable Five" lol that was a great night having to get back together and just bombard our past-one-year experiences.. we even hung out twice in 4 days at the exact same place, with the aussie gang..well mostly aussie cos others were either back to study or didn't come back at all. gahh just too much to reminisce, thousands of gatherings wouldn't be enough anyway.. wish we could go back to the old time doing things together. sigh-ness. i'm not sure about you guys but i quite often feel nostalgic whenever something reminds me of our high school life, even if there's only a unnoticeable amount of "stimulant". sigh-ness.

5 more days, 5 more fucking days and i'm gonna pack my belongings and leave, for study. though i don't feel as reluctant as last time when i left, there's still something i miss about being here in my hometown. it's my home after all.. bak kata pepatah "bird fly high high at last pun fly back to their own nest" lol that was so improvised what a smart-pant i am :p it might be different this time cos when i go back i'll have to seriously find myself a job, or i won't be able to pay any of the fees, well other than tuition fees for sure, living expenses is what i meant.. well i've been thinking, again, to myself, it won't be that bad to work right, i can't be worse than watching your grandparents making love.......that was rude..and disgusting! eeewww! i said that! no! ok forget.. forget what i said.. so i'm convincing myself that working is not really a bad thing, you can earn money, you can learn something special, you can experience life, see? there's 3 good things already lol. and finally after a couple of days of contemplation and self-hypnotizing, i made it! i get passed myself! working will be fine! so fine.. i'm gonna find one fucking job and fucking do it, earn fucking money, pay those fucking expenses and i'm so gonna shop the hell out of it.. damn! I FEEL GOOD~ dadadadadada..

wow what a long post i better stop.. haha couldn't help but kept on writing and it came out like this, i'm truly shocked. *oh my god i'm shocked* still the same old yog's cliche.."Don't miss me too much!" :p take care peeps won't be updating anytime soon.. unless i'm feeling the urge to do so lol.

Nostalgia

Just saw some pictures taken during my grandma's birthday few days ago..my mom sent those photos to me.. and i'm feeling so homesick now.. i almost cried when i was seeing those photos.. tears just couldn't help revolving in my eyes.. there used to be me and my family but for these..i'm not in the pictures.. and it feels really strange.. awkwardly strange..

i've been pretty good since i came to perth..it's been almost a year and life's going kinda great here.. i didn't realize how much i miss my family until i saw the photos.. like the photos are some sort of activator to homesickness.. Let me go home~


i could go back at 24 nov before the flight's changed, which is like few more weeks from now.. but for some reason i have to stay and work so i won't be going back anytime soon.. another few months of 'excruciation'..

Another aeroplane, another sunny place,
I'm lucky I know
but I wanna go home
I got to go home
Let me go home
I'm just too far from where you are
I wanna come home

i miss home....

P/S: exam's in a week's time.. gotta do some cramming for sure.. and hopefully everything goes smoothly.. and.. all the best to all the people having exams out there as well.. let's pull it through!

Will I stay or will I go?

I don't know..I don't know how long i can take this..it's gonna burst out of nowhere..but I don't want to..I really don't want to...
_____________________________________________________________________

Well here's another thing, not the crazy grumble above, totally not related, so please, don't senka senka imagine everything thanks =p It's about my future, again. Was chatting with my mum through MSN few days ago, as I expected, the "will i stay or will i go" thing was brought up, which I try so hard to stave off. yea, i'm too a coward to face reality. She then mentioned something about IMU, which is a great medical school in Malaysia. She found out (actually my aunt who pays all my fees did) that IMU actually offers Biomedical Science degree (yup the thing i'm doing) but it's a brand new course, will be commencing next year or something. Gees! of course i don't want to study in KL (no offense to people studying in KL), nothing much, just that i simply don't like KL, that's it.

Well we had a pretty serious talk (which is so not my style lol) about my future. I told her the thing that I might want to pursue my master degree after i graduate this Biomed thing, get a PR and get a job something, and then we carried on with another half an hour crap of, again, stuff about my future, kept telling me to be serious and be independent, who doesn't know! i mean, it's not easy to just step up like that, and the thing is, it feels kinda weird that i'm becoming an adult, dealing with my own stuff, starting to worry about life, so and so..sooner or later i'm gonna deal with all these cruel inhumane unethical life-sucking-problems, i know..yea, i know..and i will.. anyway, we then chatted about the utterly sucky economy nowadays and inevitably MONEY was dragged into our conversation. yea economy is deteriorating like it never had before, which sucks.

I got this surge of courage at that particular moment and i told my mum that "I don't want to go to KL" and there it was, she told me that she doesn't want me to go also, considering career opportunities and other fucking matters. Well honestly i was god-damningly glad at the moment hearing this sort of thing, but life doesn't always go the way you want it to, she then mentioned the fact that economy sucks and it's not easy for her to ask any more money from my aunt (though i'll pay her back when i work but...). My mum then "cited" the best quote of all time, "do the best, expect the worst" and if it really doesn't work, i'll really have to go to IMU or other institutions next year. In the end, we had an agreement, she gave me 2 weeks time to gather all the information i could about the PR thing and details about the course and my plan, to "support" the point that i'm staying so to facilitate my PR application in the future when she "debates" with my aunt. Lol! that sounds serious but it's not lol..my mum said she'll talk to my aunt that i'm staying for XXX reason and is for the best blah blah. So, yea..the biggest homework ever..

It's been few days and i've been doing research, little research. Nothing much, browsing through IMU website, squandering time, typical me lol, will continue this research thing, it's tough but i'ma pull this through! I seriously am. All the best to myself! I really really really hope that i cn stay, i know it's really expensive studying here but i'm gonna work harder in the future to pay back whatever debts (if there is any). I wanna stay..

Bye guys..

well, after so many farewell tat we've done n finally, it's my turn tmr, i'm leaving to Perth..

It's unbelievably fast huh~i mean everything goes by, just like this..2 months' time man..but it felt like 2 weeks =.=

My grandma..crying almost these every few days.. oh gosh~like i wont come back anymore =.= but it feels really heartbreaking to separate with someone tat u've lived together for 18 yrs.. cant imagine the day i go, sth's gonna happen =.=

My buddies..thanks for giving me such a great time in Tshung Tsin, being thr with me, glad to have u guys as my lifetime friends!! appreciate u guys a lot..for real..='( will miss u guys lots!! missing the crazy moments tat we've been thru..the embarrassing moment while we sang a totally out-of-tune version of Danny Boy during Parents' day..how memorable..well, really thank u to u guys for being my best classmates ever in my life, i promise i'll never wipe u guys away from my heart XD

know what, i was pondering these few days..do i really like to study in Perth? Am i really a biomedicine material? well, there's a thought flashing in my mind these few days.. why dont study in UMS? cause now i realize KK is the best place for me to stay anyway..perhaps =.= maybe i cant put down my grandma here, my friends here but most of them r leaving what =.= n the tv here!! American idol!! argh..cant watch anymore..><

well i've finally done packing my luggage XD *ROUND APPLAUSE* it's not an easy stuff.. trust me.. it's sth tat makes u feeling headache all the time haha~ oh yea! i've bought my laptop..a HP laptop!! how nice hoho i'm acting like "rusa masuk ke kampung" since i've been holding n 'kissing' it these days XD

sigh~going to fly soon, one more day to go..still wondering how it feels like..anyway, take care my friends!! will see u guys in the future!! *peace out*

离人季节

继1月头在机场度过的"送机"时光后, 昨天(15/2)开始再度展开第二度的攻势, 这次送走的是"澳洲帮"..当然还夹杂"台湾帮" "Miri帮" "KL帮"... =.=

说实在的 在Terminal2送机确实没有在Terminal1来的有感觉..可能是目的地的关系吧.. Pinky Princess 刚刚飞去了 Brisbane..还蛮担心她的 毕竟是千金大小姐一名嘛 XD 刚在进闸之前她妈对她说了一些保重之类的话 顿时她眼泪就这样流了出来 看者心痛啊~ 不禁让我看到即将离开这里的自己 还蛮期待的 XD

说回昨晚 没错..就是送机前的一晚..我想是一种病吧 我老是在送机前一晚失眠的.. 所以现在本尊的状况是神智不清的..好久没这感觉了.. ><

好累~先去睡一会儿 之后就必须开始收拾行李了 头疼啊!! 真的不知从何收起 =.=

空虚

上瘾了



像抽烟一样 抽上了瘾
像吸毒一样 吸上了瘾


怎么办

难以抽离的感觉 像是入戏过深
好难过

追看星光一,二班
现在节目也告一段落了
感觉 好空虚
就像追看连续剧后的那股空虚感

是沉迷星光后遗症
是心灵调整不恰当

还是 人类的自然反应?


看星光 的确 会有所获得
歌唱技巧 临场反应
虽说没天赋的人(本少爷) 看了也无用XD
但
星光 不是白看的
做人道理 名人名言
不是随处可经历的

楊宗緯就说过这么一句话
哪里有失落 那里就有爱
Where there is lose, there is love

陶晶莹也在星光提过一位名人的名言
长辈是弓 晚辈是箭
弓能做的是尽量把自己拉满 让箭射向远方
但箭就必须决定它自己落地的位置

...

好空虚喔

空虚 缠绕着我的心灵
好空
真的很空

多久
才能自己?
多久
才能摆脱星光的踪影?
多久
才能习惯没有星光的日子?


戒烟 不容易
戒毒 不简单
自己? 不知道

真的 有那么难吗

真的 好空虚
好空虚
空到没有别的形容词 来形容我内心深处的空虚

Leaving friends

4.30am
that's the time i woke myself up today
to bid our last goodbye to one of our friends who is leaving to Penang
yea, 0+0 is the one XD
though i'm awake for now, i can hardly open up my mind
everything in my mind is totally impeded
i'm now like a walking corpse, call me a dead-alive person XD

sigh~
well, friends are leaving in succession
i was so heart-breaking when we sent our first friend leaving to Canada (yea Chris tat's u haha)
but..in the course of time, i've been inured to it
like..paralyzed?
it seems quite apathetic of me but the fact is.. 我麻木了..

yea like someone's saying: "it's merely a process that you n me must experience at least once thru-out one's life."

furthermore there are so many technological stuff that we can depend on to meet each other online, how convenient

I'll be leaving soon, well..still a month to go haha
wonder how it looks like XD
I'm thrilled
since i havent travelled by plane for ages
and i'm going to separate with my all my buddies
wonder how it feels like
upset? excited? or simply no feeling?
wondering...XD

Back to School

重返校园
感觉.. 好怀念
校园内一草一木 似乎没他大改变

学生都穿着制服
再看看自己的"非制服" 感觉超爽快! 感觉很放肆 很无拘无束

我们几个等待开学的闲人回校探望就读崇正学院的老友
同学换上了IS制服
感觉.. 很新 却不失那份熟悉感..
寒喧问暖一番
好温馨哦

再见见老师们 没啥改变
聊聊近况 天南地北

游荡校园 似乎没显著的变换
教室位置 是唯一换掉的

在食堂打坐 打发时日
碰巧遇见其他闲人.. 打牙臼 吹吹水
享受校园内的一切 那良辰美景 让人陶醉..=.=

真怀念中学生涯
毕竟是在熟悉环境中学习成长
想到即将离乡背井 远赴海外深造
忧虑 无法适应大学生活..
担心 无法承受朋友家人不在的环境..
害怕 孤苦伶丁过日子..
也许这一切都是多余的吧 必经阶段 是吗?

Introspection..

Well, finally, i've received an offer letter from UWA! how thrilling..XD

But, before this, my mom scolded me for being too negligent.. like i didn't care anything about the enrolment of UWA..she said that i was just sitting in front the comp doing sth meaningless instead of applying scholarships, grants, whatever.. she also told me in such ironic way,"u dont want to study already, is it? huh? whenever i ask u to do sth and u always do things in such a slow mo..u shud know that when the offer letter has been sent to u, u have to pay within XX days, tahu? we dont even have suffeicient money to pay for the enrolment fees..don't think that this is a trifling matter.." *POOF POOF BOOM BOOM* the volcano in my heart was erupting!! how could u say such words? i don want to study anymore? ridiculous!! afterwards i kept my mouth shut all way long back-ing home..seriously, i hate that sensation!

yea, indeed, i was mad at her, for a few moments, but i pondered over after that about the attitude when i was dealing with this kind of stuff..i mean uni stuff, i was wrong actually..i should be more aggressive.. well, i did a lot of "things" to remedy my compunctious heart (cleaning my messy room, act like a good boy, blah blah blah..XD) nth why, don't ask me, just do so to let me feel better..wuakakaka^^

anyway, yea~i shud be more active in doing things next time, since i'm a passive dude currently (Daemon's test) hopefully i can alter myself after sometime..(but usually i wont be altering that quick..sure changing takes ages of time!! *smirk*)

Orite, i gotta do my stuff now, haha^^ see ya dudes!

The Cristmas Shoes

"The Christmas Shoes" by Newsong

It was almost Christmas time, there I stood in another line
Tryin' to buy that last gift or two, not really in the Christmas mood
Standing right in front of me was a little boy waiting anxiously
Pacing 'round like little boys do
And in his hands he held a pair of shoes

His clothes were worn and old, he was dirty from head to toe
And when it came his time to pay
I couldn't believe what I heard him say

Chorus:
Sir, I want to buy these shoes for my Mama, please
It's Christmas Eve and these shoes are just her size
Could you hurry, sir, Daddy says there's not much time
You see she's been sick for quite a while
And I know these shoes would make her smile
And I want her to look beautiful if Mama meets Jesus tonight

He counted pennies for what seemed like years
Then the cashier said, "Son, there's not enough here"
He searched his pockets frantically
Then he turned and he looked at me
He said Mama made Christmas good at our house
Though most years she just did without
Tell me Sir, what am I going to do,
Somehow I've got to buy her these Christmas shoes

So I laid the money down, I just had to help him out
I'll never forget the look on his face when he said
Mama's gonna look so great

Sir, I want to buy these shoes for my Mama, please
It's Christmas Eve and these shoes are just her size
Could you hurry, sir, Daddy says there's not much time
You see she's been sick for quite a while
And I know these shoes would make her smile
And I want her to look beautiful if Mama meets Jesus tonight

Bridge:
I knew I'd caught a glimpse of heaven's love
As he thanked me and ran out
I knew that God had sent that little boy
To remind me just what Christmas is all about

Repeat Chorus

The Christmas Shoes Lyrics will surely make you realize that Christmas is also a time that we think of the less fortunate ones among us, and only then can we aim to catch “a glimpse of heaven's love”.

This song was published in year 2001(if i'm not mistaken), it's a song for the TV movie "The Christmas Shoes". The story's about a young boy trying to get a pair of Christmas shoes for his dying mother, while a lawyer tries to deal with the break-up of his marriage. Though i havent seen this movie but there's a voice telling me that this is a great touching movie..


My heart was totally melted when i first listening to this song. At first i thought this was some kind of those bubbly christmas songs, so i downloaded it, and i was so surprised..so touched listening to this song, browsing thru its lyric, reveling in the intoxicating melody, humming along...

anyway, it's my first time sharing lyric here..since i find this song really meaningful and inspiring..Christmas is not only for fun and joy, there are atill many wretches out there living in this world waiting for a beam of hope..well, i cant really do anything to help..so, just live your life to the fullest and cherish every little thing you own!

^^

Learn to be appreciative

I do..I always grumble..about how toilsome i've been..how penniless i am..

yea, i do that quite often..murmuring at dispensable nonsense..as i always feel that i'm the most unfortunate guy in this world..perhaps i'm not..yet i always think so..for no reason..pathetic huh..

I used to think that way..but for now..

For sure, there're much more poorer and pitiable ppl..than me..in this world..and that's why i'm here..inspired by sth..leaving it here..

Everyone has a dream i guess, yea, it's a wonderful thing to pursue ur very own dream..imagine that one day u have to, and u ought to abandon ur big dream..for the reason that u're confronting economical matter that u can't afford the tuition fee..and for the reason that u have a family to take care of since u're the one who supports all the outcomes and consumptions of the family..and also for the reason that u have a lil 7-year-old bro to attend to..

So if u persevere on pursuing ur dream, ur family might be ruined cause of u..u're bearing a huge responsibility to ur family but u're just a teenager who r much more mature with ur same-age-fellows..since u're forced to face all the problems that u're encountering too early..at least for ur age..it's too early..in the end..u're still a teenager, who supppose to talk about ur dream n achieve it!! but too bad, it's a tough decision for u to make..

A teenager who wants to save the world, but his dream's broken up by the responsibility to his family..

I feel that i'm so lucky to be born in such happily-ever-after-family, need not to be apprenhensive about financial stuff at least, pursuing my dream as i like to..

Well, i said that i do always complain about everything that i've actually already had that others have not..i'm still discontented with all these..what a jerk i am..

Hmm, i'm not giving any solutions or suggestions here..just to express my feelings..n frankly speaking, i couldn't overcome all those problems if i were the guy who's suffering from those..thank god..yea, i esteem the perseverance of the guy facing those problems..it's totally not an easy thing..

Yea, just to drop sth here to remind u guys to appreciate what u've already owned, cherish what u've already got.. That's the pathway for not losing sth that might cause u regretful for the rest of ur life..

P/S: To the guy who inspired me( i think u know who u r haha), no offence, don't mind^^
For the others, just ignore me if u find that this post is blurry..have a nice day^^

*Sigh*

Feeling grieved..suddenly..

Reason?

...speechless..nth to describe about...

Separation stuff again i guess..it's going to haunt me quite a moment i think..again...

*SIGHHHHH* Moodless to face the SPM anymore..well perhaps i'll better tmr...hope so..

Gotta get on bed..
Hope that mr.insomnia won't come to find me ltr..

Night guys...

Separation

Well, I don't know why, I suddenly had the impetuosity to write down sth about my friends, perhaps the day of separation is coming soon I guess..

Since the graduation day, well before that day, when I thought that we were about to separate from each other soon, I felt grieved, it was sth like swallowing a whole piece of lemon n drinking a huge jug of pure lemonade, it just felt so sour and..*sigh*

Ya, I admit that I was mad at our class sometimes due to their incoorperative, their attitudes etc..I really wanted to stand up and yell at them:"Shut the FUCK up!!" when they were making immense noise which drove me crazy..

I didn't..

I wasn't daring enough to do so, ya, also, I couldn't let myself do that..Since they're all my friends, though this sounds weird haha, It's also part of my disposition that I would never do sth that couldn't let me get down from the stage, er, meaning that I wouldn't do sth that embarrass myself, and get no way for me to hide my embarrassment, like standing up in the class n scolding at them.. Since this really makes me feel shy or whatever blushing thing.. I don't know.. it's a bad thing.. for me.. being such a COWARD..no offence

Well, that's not the point haha. Back to the separation thing..

*SIGHHH* Feel really bad.. thinking of separation.. the first to go is Chris, just few more weeks then he'll be going to Canada, we'll not meet until 2 yeras later when Chris's coming back, heartbreaking huh.. Next up is Eric I think, Kanasai of our class, he'll go to Taiwan so I guess he'll disappear soon from KK.. sad sad sad..

There was a weird one, on the graduation day, some of us thought that we would cry and let tears flooding the hall, yet there was no one except WeiCing was crying.. perhaps, we're still meeting each other now in school cause of the SPM thing.. I guess that's why..

Thinking of going to Perth next year, probably by myself, or accompany of someone else, Ee Chuen? Chu Chee? Since I heard that they wanna go to Perth also.. *SIGH* another tears-causer event.. I'm gonna leave my friends here and make new friends there, it's quite tough for me as I'm resistant to strangers..it's really difficult for me to have buddies like now..it's also not an easy stuff for me to acclimatize to the ambience there, aw.. making me to have a wish to stay here with my friends, I prefer this actually haha..

Really can't imagine how my life will be at Perth, washing face with tears? missing my buddies all-day-long? Being in a trance thinking of fond memories? *BIG Sigh* I really don't know..
It's indeed a sorrowful thing, when typing all these, my heart is bleeding profusely(nice joke! =.='') It hurts my innocent pure lil heart(oh pls..) but it's true, though it's a lil exaggerated.

My brain is empty, don't know what to write, speechless? I guess so.. *sigh* hope that I can overcome this asap..

But anyway, love you guys, S3Zhong..

Friends

I'm home alone-ing now.. my mom went out doing her stuff, my grandma n sis went to HK few days ago n wont come back until mid of Dec, well, feel quite lonely actually being alone in home.. *sigh*

That's not the point actually, what I'm going to post is sth about friendship, found these somewhere while surfing net just now, quite meaningful and inspiring =)

Yes'm, old friends is always best, 'less you can catch a new one that's fit to make an old one out of.
-Sarah Orne Jewett

Wishing to be friends is quick work, but friendship is a slow ripening fruit.
-Aristotle

The friend is the man who knows all about you, and still likes you.
-Elbert Hubbard

I always felt that the great high privilege, relief and comfort of friendship was that one had to explain nothing.
-Katherine Mansfield

I don't need a friend who changes when I change and who nods when I nod; my shadow does that much better.
-Plutarch

Silences make the real conversations between friends. Not the saying but the never needing to say is what counts.
-Margaret Lee Runbeck

True friends stab you in the front.
-Oscar Wilde

If it's very painful for you to criticize your friends - you're safe in doing it. But if you take the slightest pleasure in it, that's the time to hold your tongue.
-Alice Duer Miller

When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand.
-Henri Nouwen

The language of friendship is not words but meanings.
-Henry David Thoreau

There is nothing on this earth more to be prized than true friendship.
-Saint Thomas Aquinas

Friendship... is not something you learn in school. But if you haven't learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven't learned anything.
-Muhammad Ali

Since there is nothing so well worth having as friends, never lose a chance to make them.
-Francesco Guicciardini

It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Without wearing any mask we are conscious of, we have a special face for each friend.
-Oliver Wendell Holmes

Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.
-Oprah Winfrey

Let us be grateful to people who make us happy, they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.
-Marcel Proust

A man's growth is seen in the successive choirs of his friends.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

The bird a nest, the spider a web, man friendship.
-William Blake

I value the friend who for me finds time on his calendar, but I cherish the friend who for me does not consult his calendar.
-Robert Brault

We call that person who has lost his father, an orphan; and a widower that man who has lost his wife. But that man who has known the immense unhappiness of losing a friend, by what name do we call him? Here every language is silent and holds its peace in impotence.
-Joseph Roux

Yea, these are all about friendship..
appreciate them, u'll learn sth about friendship.. at least for me, I did.. =)